I am very excited to be launching the Karma Kids website. Parenting is tough and the demands are becoming increasingly complex as families try to juggle the demands of work, home, family, financial responsibilities, and social commitments. I hate to use cliches but, “there never seem to be enough hours in the day”. We are busy. Our lives are busy yet we are expected to be competent and capable of fulfilling enormous societal expectations to maintain our own physicality, home environment, career and at the same time parent well adjusted, successful children. Easy peasey really. The reality is that sometimes we don’t cope. The reality is that it’s sometimes really difficult to acknowledge this.
A lot of parents I talk with get their parenting advice and support from friends, Dr Google, books and the parenting experience of previous generations is disregarded; viewed as so far removed from current parenting practices. Parenting has changed and our expectations of relationships has changed.
We bring so much of our lived childhood experiences to our parenting, making conscious decisions to either completely avoid them (I never want be like my mother!) or replicate them (if only I could be like my mother!).
Family relationships are complex. Some of our parenting behaviour is not conscious and we find ourselves reacting to our own children from some implicit memory embedded deep in our psyche, finding ourselves using words and actions that we experienced. Sometimes we feel good about this, sometimes we don’t and beat ourselves up for reacting in ways we had committed to never adopting.
We often establish patterns of behaviour that are not positive but don’t take the time or have the time to step back, think about the situation, reassess and adjust our strategy. I understand only too well that when you are too close to a situation it is hard to observe it objectively. I have been privileged to help families – to be able to analyse situations, as a caring, objective observer. To hear about problems, watch the interaction and provide feedback and suggestions. Sometimes all it takes is a little tweak to overcome what seems like a significant parenting or behavioural issue. I hope that through Karma Kids I will be able to support more parents to enhance their parenting experience, by providing support, understanding and ideas. The fundamental philosophy that undermines my parenting practice is the four C’s – calm, caring, consistent and in control. I look forward to chatting with you and sharing our thoughts and ideas.